Celeste's Story

            My name is Celeste and I am an alcoholic and an addict. My sobriety date is February 13, 2002.  I have always felt different, like there was something missing. I just knew that you all had it and I needed it. Growing up in school I was never really that popular because I was the chubby poor girl wearing thick, gray, Medicaid glasses. However I could always get by on my sense of humor and athletic abilities.

            I grew up with alcoholic parents in a life filled with fighting, yelling and drinking. My father left my mother with three girls when I was one years old and this started the saga of strange men in my life. My mother was a relationship addict and always thought that she could fix us all if only we had the right guy. This never worked because my mother attracted men that were just as sick as she was.

            As time went on my mother progressed in her disease and she could no longer take care of us. Eventually we all ended up moving to Phoenix to live with my father and his alcoholic wife. If nothing changes nothing changes. My mother ended her life with a shotgun to the chest. This and the horrible things I had said to my mother would become my lifelong excuse to live in pity and stay loaded day in and day out.

            I was a carbon copy of my mother staying loaded and in and out of abusive relationships. I kept switching from drug to drug until I had final been driven to my knees. I had nothing left and became homeless with only the clothes on my back. Once again I was on my knees but this time I was crying out for God to help me because I was so tired and just couldn’t do it anymore.

            I had attended my very first meeting at Crossroads for Men while I was still in my addiction. I had also met a fellow member of Alcoholics Anonymous through another friend who was living at the Eastside facility. I remembered this meeting hall and this friend when I had become homeless and figured what the hell, what do I have to lose?

            I called the friend and eventually ended up at Crossroads for Women. This place was exactly where I needed to be and was home to me for the next seven months. Karen Barraclough was there to interview me and decided to take a chance on me. She said she could see willingness in me and that I was not trying to blame everyone for my problems. I believe that I was surrendered and just didn’t know it yet. I was so beat down I was ready for a new way of life and would take whatever suggestions were offered in order to get it.

            I got a sponsor, worked the steps, got employed and started paying my own way. “Wow, what a feeling to be a part of society again, to feel self worth”. I started chairing a meeting at Crossroads with two months of sobriety called Happy Hour. This was my home group. I chaired this meeting for almost a year. Being a part of this meeting held me accountable to something greater than myself. I made new friends and learned about the importance of service work. I believe this helped me build a solid foundation for my recovery. I was told that if you have a weak foundation your home will never last.

            I resided at Crossroads for seven months and when I left I committed to chairing a meeting on Thursday nights for the next several months. After two years of sobriety I was asked to come and work for Crossroads and I gladly accepted. I have been here for almost two years and also attend Phoenix College through a scholarship that was awarded to me through the Steve Mertens scholarship fund. I am getting my two year transferable degree to hopefully go on to a University to get my masters degree in Social Work.

            I now have a life that I never thought could be possible. I also know that I have this life because I live the steps and I work with other alcoholics. Every time I take someone through the steps I learn something new and for me I have to give it away in order to keep it. My job here at Crossroads constantly reminds me of where I was and how grateful I am to be sober today!